You Can't Control Your Loved One with Borderline
Published: Thu, 11/13/08
Hi ,
How's it going?
Today's subject is a hard one, and you
probably don't want to hear me say
these words, but...
You can't control your loved one with
borderline personality disorder.
You really can't.
You can't control their thoughts.
You can't control their feelings.
You can't control their actions.
You can't control their acting out
behavior.
You can't control their likes and
dislikes.
You can't control their activities.
You can't control their job.
You can't control their friends, or who
they choose to surround themselves
with.
You can't control their family relationships.
You can't control THEM!
Here's the truth:
You have a hard enough time controlling
YOURSELF!
See, here's the thing.
When you try to control someone, you're
trying to change them.
And one of the biggest things I try to get
across in my main course and resource below
is that you can't change someone who
doesn't want to be changed:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Would you like it if someone tried to
control you?
How do you like it now?
Many supporters have told me that their loved
one is very controlling.
Is yours?
If they are, I bet you don't like it very much.
Nobody likes being told what to do or how to
be, how they should feel, what they should or
shouldn't think, or who they should hang
around with (and who they shouldn't).
A bunch of rules is all it is.
And we're dealing with an adult here.
Granted, an adult with a serious disorder, but
an adult nonetheless.
And here's the secret.
Here's what your loved one wants from you.
Well, first, here's what your loved one does
NOT want from you:
They don't want you to try to control them.
They don't want you to try to change them.
They don't want you to tell them what to do.
Or what not to do.
Or any of the things I've already talked
about.
Here's what they DO want you to do.
They want you to LOVE THEM.
That's it.
THEY WANT YOU TO LOVE THEM.
If you can love them the best you can...
Then you won't need to control them.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml