Strange Holiday Borderline Behavior
Published: Mon, 12/15/08
Hi ,
I hope you're having a good day.
Well, the holidays are upon us, and
even people without borderline
personality disorder are getting
stressed out.
This time of year should bring out the
best in people - you know, the giving
and all - but sometimes, it brings
out the worst in them.
You know, all those people pushing
and shoving at the stores, trying to
beat you to the best deals and all...
All those people out in traffic, weaving
in and out... Cutting you off...
Getting angry at you if you drive only
the speed limit...
Geez.
What happened to Happy Holidays?
But for people with borderline personality
disorder and their supporters, it can be a
very stressful time.
This is a time when you as a supporter need
to especially watch your loved one for
triggers to acting out behavior.
Triggers like I discuss in my main course
and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
This is the time of year that their acting
out behavior may become worse, and
you need to be aware of that.
For example, you may see that they have
that "superior" attitude more now. Well,
they're attending those holiday parties
at work or with clients and getting all that
attention focused on them, and when
they get home, they may not feel as if
you are giving them that much attention.
You may be (and you especially may
feel as if you are) given them that
attention, but to your loved one,
they may perceive it differently.
Remember, we're not necessarily talking
about reality when we talk about your
loved one. We're talking about what
they PERCEIVE to be reality.
They may act more jealous at this time
of year. You may be attending your
own holiday parties and gatherings at
work or with clients or business
associates - affairs that they may not
necessarily be invited to.
Be careful with this, as they may not
like it, and they may feel as if they are
being left out of something they feel
"entitled to." They may take these
feelings out on you, so watch for this
and be prepared.
If the two of you do go to these parties
or affairs, or even family gatherings
together, be prepared to see your loved
one try to be the center of attention.
This is very common for them when they
are triggered by stress, which is what
happens around the holidays.
What you really need to do is watch
out for yourself. Make sure that
YOU remain as stress-free as possible.
Practice your own stress-reduction
and relaxation techniques.
Remember that your loved one's
problems are not your own. So that
when they start complaining that
so-and-so at the office is not being
fair to them, etc., remember that
this is just the borderline personality
disorder talking and not your loved one.
Your Friend,
Dave
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