Is It Borderline Rage Or Rageaholism?
Published: Thu, 02/05/09
Hi ,
I hope you're doing well today.
Today's topic is about anger.
Well, more specifically, borderline
anger, which as you know, is quite
different from regular anger.
When you or I experience anger, we
deal with it in an appropriate manner.
You know, we might disagree about
something, and we might be able to
talk about it.
Then we might be able to come up with
a compromise.
I know this couple who call this "agree
to disagree."
For us, anger is just one of the emotional
reactions that we have.
Just like fear, say. We experience fear as a
regular emotional reaction, and we deal
with it.
Someone with borderline personality
disorder experiences fear totally different
as well.
But let's just talk about anger today.
"Inappropriate anger" is one of the
symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
I talk about it in my main course and
resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Actually, it's defined as "inappropriate, intense
anger or difficulty controlling anger."
It's called inappropriate because the level of the
person's anger seems to be more intense than
is appropriate to the situation.
For example, you might come home late from
work because there was an accident on the
interstate, and the next thing you know, your
loved one is raging at you (for something you
couldn't even help).
Where we might overreact to something,
and yet be able to be reasoned down to
calmness quickly when told the facts, a
person with borderline personality disorder
will explode into a rage over the same thing.
They might yell, be sarcastic, rage, or even
become physically violent.
That's the difference.
But is there also a difference between borderline
rage and rageaholism?
Or can borderline rage turn into rageaholism?
Rageaholism (addiction to rage) is like any
other addiction, and all addictions have
symptoms like: self-stimulation, compulsion,
obsession, denial, withdrawal and craving
syndrome, and unpredictable behavior.
Rage meets many of these symptoms.
Rage is self-stimulating. It triggers the
compulsion for more rage. If someone
is a "rager," the more they rage, the more
they want to rage. The same way it is for
an alcoholic - the more they drink, the
more they want to drink.
Rageaholism is compulsive - it's the
compulsive pursuit of a mood change by
engaging repeatedly in episodes of rage in
spite of negative consequences. Addiction
is a loss of control. And compulsion, or loss
of control, in this case, is the inability to
stop raging once the person has started.
Anger controls the thoughts of the rageaholic.
That's the obsession part. They become
preoccupied with resentment toward others
and anger is their revenge. The force of anger
turns into action, and they rage.
Many rageaholics are in denial. They think
that it's others that are the problem, not that
they have a problem with rage, so they don't
think that there's anything wrong with them.
They don't think there's anything wrong with
their anger. Very seldom are "ragers" able
to say, "I'm wrong."
Like any other addiction, rageaholism has a
"detoxification period." During this time,
craving is high. Those who abstain from
name-calling, yelling, or raging, usually
become depressed and feel vulnerable.
They may start looking for situations where
they can rage again.
Unpredictable behavior is just as characteristic
of a rageaholic as it is of an other addict or,
say, the alcoholic. Once an alcoholic starts to
drink, there is no way to know what they'll
do. It's the same way when the "rager" starts
to rage. They might do anything - even
become physically violent. The only thing
that is predictable is that they will NOT
express their anger appropriately.
Those are the symptoms of a rageaholic.
Does this sound like your loved one?
There are many similarities between the
rage of a person with borderline personality
disorder and a rageaholic.
However, there are differences, too.
I think the biggest one is that rage, to someone
with borderline personality disorder, is a
REACTION to something. I don't think
they lay around and wait just to rage.
It is true that once they start to rage, they will
continue to rage and be out of control, but
eventually they will stop their rage, as they
will their other symptoms of acting out behavior,
and they will go back into a normal period.
Rage is only one symptom of borderline
personality disorder.
In my opinion, rage is THE symptom for a
rageaholic.
But what do you think?
Do you think they are two different things?
Or two sides to the same coin?
Do you think someone with borderline personality
disorder could turn into a rageaholic?
Your Friend,
Dave
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