Is Your Loved One With Borderline Willing To Do This?
Published: Wed, 02/11/09
Hi ,
I hope you're doing well today.
Let me ask you a question.
Are you a willing person?
I bet you are, aren't you?
Because you've been willing,
all this time, to put up with your
loved one's borderline behavior.
Now let me ask you something else.
Is your loved one a willing person?
I don't mean strong-willed, because
that's something else. Most people
with borderline personality disorder
are strong-willed people. Some
supporters even say that their loved
ones are controlling people (or that
they feel controlled by them).
But is your loved one willing? That's
what I'm getting at.
Because if your loved one is willing,
they might be willing to do this:
CHANGE.
In my main course and resource, I talk
about how someone with borderline
personality disorder has to be willing
to change to recover..
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Without the willingness to change,
there is no hope for recovery.
But with the willingness to change,
there IS hope for recovery.
And isn't that what it's all about?
Here's how it goes:
Willingness leads to change.
Change leads to growth.
Growth leads to recovery.
Now think about yourself.
Are you the same person you
used to be?
No.
That's because you've changed.
It's because you "grew up."
You matured.
Somewhere along the line, you changed
the way you thought about things, and
changed those patterns of thinking into
new ones.
Well, here's the problem with your
loved one:
Because of something that happened way
back when, they never did that.
They kind of got "stuck" in that old pattern of
thinking, and never learned a new way of
thinking.
They never changed.
They never matured.
They never grew.
They never "grew up," like you did.
Unlike you, they didn't have anyone
to teach them.
One of the core characteristics of
borderline personality disorder is the
initial abuse or abandonment that they
experienced as a young child.
So they developed coping mechanisms,
or defense mechanisms, that they've
used all these years.
Now, I'm not saying that these are necessarily
healthy ones, just ones that they developed
early to help them cope with things like
fear of rejection, like the rejection they
suffered as a child.
So, say they felt that rejection as a child.
They never got over that.
They still carry that with them.
They never grew out of it.
They never "matured."
The thought patterns they learned back
then, they still have.
So now, they carry those thought patterns
with them into their relationship with you.
And it may interfere with their relationship
with you.
That fear of rejection may cause them to act
out in unhealthy ways.
For example, if you're late coming home
from work, they may show anger or rage
toward you, and you may not understand
where it's coming from.
But it could have come from their fear of
rejection.
Their old thought patterns may have kicked in
while you were late.
See, their fear of rejection is not only of REAL
abandonment, but it can be of only what they
THINK is abandonment, real or not.
That's their OLD thinking.
And their reaction to that thought pattern is
anger and rage.
BUT...
If they are willing to change, they can change
that old, unhealthy way of thinking into a
new, healthy way of thinking.
Unfortunately, they can't do this by themselves,
and you can't help them.
They can only do this through extensive,
long-term therapy with a therapist who has
experience dealing with people who have
borderline personality disorder.
As long as they are willing, though, there is
hope for recovery.
And, like I said before, that's what it's all
about.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml