Realize What You're Getting Into With Borderline
Published: Tue, 04/07/09
Hi ,
I hope you're having a good day.
If you're new to this relationship with
someone who has borderline personality
disorder, I want you to realize what
you're getting yourself into.
It's not an easy ride, and that's at the very
least.
Most of the time, people with borderline
personality disorder can be outgoing,
friendly, charming, and seem just as
normal as anyone else.
However, when they feel stressed, anxious,
or threatened, they will exhibit several
"odd" behaviors that you may have noticed.
These behaviors are called acting out behaviors.
They may be directed at you, or they may be
directed at themselves.
In my main course and resource below, I talk
about acting out behavior and borderline
personality disorder:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Some of these acting out behaviors can
include risk-taking behaviors, like what
we would normally consider "thrill-
seeking" behavior.
These would be things like:
- Reckless driving (speeding)
- Shoplifting
- Sexual promiscuity
- Bungee jumping
- Climbing rocks or mountains
- Skydiving
- Etc.
Some of these behaviors are worse.
These are impulsive behaviors that are
turned toward themselves, such as:
- Making suicide attempts
- Expressing self-hate
- Engaging in self-destructive
behavior
The very worst of this impulsive
behavior turned toward themselves is a
"hidden" behavior. It is called self-
mutilation, or self-injury.
This is where they will take razors or knives
and cut themselves, or cigarettes and burn
themselves, or scratch themselves until
they bleed.
I know this sounds horrible, but I have
spoken with people who have borderline
personality disorder, and they say that
they do this because it actually gives
them some relief from the pain that
they feel inside.
One way you can tell if your loved one is
someone who self-mutilates or self-injures
is that they tend to be depressed, and
another way is that they will wear long-
sleeved tops, no matter how hot the
weather.
They will also probably want to be
by themselves when dressing and
undressing.
Acting out behavior for someone with
borderline personality disorder is not
only directed inward (towards themselves),
however.
Unfortunately, there are times when it
will be directed at those who are closest
to them which, usually, will be you.
When they are reacting to stress, pressure,
anxiety, situations out of their control, or
basically any time they feel threatened,
this type of behavior will come out.
These acting out behaviors directed at
you will be things such as:
- Criticism
- Blaming
- Anger/rage
- Picking fights for no reason
- Humiliation
- Accusing
- Abusing (verbally, emotionally,
and even sometimes physically)
- Etc.
Some of these behaviors can really hurt
you emotionally. You might feel
frustrated, angry, hurt, embarrassed
(especially if it's done in public),
depressed, and even worse.
These feelings are only natural. It's
hard to be hurt.
But sometimes your loved one may get
so angry and be in such a rage that
they may get violent. In that case,
you must take care of yourself first.
Make sure you watch out for your
own safety (and the safety of your
children, if you have any).
You need to understand that your
loved one has a mental illness.
A mental illness called borderline
personality disorder.
It is not their intention to deliberately
hurt you in these ways.
It is because of the disorder in them
that they do these things.
Unless they get treatment for the disorder,
there is no hope of recovery.
But with the proper treatment
(extensive, long-term therapy and
medication), there is hope that your
loved one can get better.
Just understand that it will take time.
It doesn't happen overnight.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml