Dealing with Borderline? Those Who Can - Do
Published: Tue, 04/21/09
Hi ,
How are you doing?
Have you ever heard the
saying, "Those who can, do.
Those who can't, teach."
Well, for some reason, when
I heard that expression, I
thought of borderline personality
disorder.
I'll tell you why.
I was thinking about all the bizarre
behaviors that your loved one can
exhibit sometimes.
All the things you have to live with,
like:
Impulsivity.
Unpredictability.
Mood shifts.
Risk-taking behavior.
Being controlling.
Possessiveness.
Criticism.
Name-calling.
Belittling.
Humiliation.
Degrading.
Anger and rage.
Abuse.
Possible violence.
Substance abuse.
Poor decisions.
Problems with relationships.
Seeing things in black and white.
Fighting.
Always being right.
These are just some of the
behaviors that I talk about in my
main course and resource below:
LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
It's so very difficult to live with a loved
one with borderline personality disorder,
as you well know.
Well, that's where the expression,
"Those who can, do. Those who can't,
teach."
Living with a loved one with borderline
personality disorder is one thing.
But you need to learn all you can
about your loved one's disorder.
That's the "those who can, do"
part of the expression.
You can "do," by learning.
Your loved one should be learning
about themselves and their disorder
by going to therapy.
But many people with borderline
personality disorder won't go to
therapy.
Many are even in denial that they
have the disorder at all.
This could be your loved one, and
it could be for many reasons.
The biggest reason is because
they "feel just fine."
This is the biggest reason why people with
borderline personality disorder don't
seek help for it..
Even though you see all the
behaviors listed above, they may
not see them.
This is where the "Those who can't,
teach" part of the expression comes
in.
There's a catch, though.
You must have good communication
with your loved one.
If you don't, they won't listen to what
you have to say.
It may even cause problems for you.
It might make them mad.
It might make their borderline
personality disorder behavior worse.
But if you have good communication
with your loved one, and they are
willing to listen to you...
Then you might be able to get through
to them.
First of all, if they are in therapy...
You can reinforce what they're learning.
You can be supportive.
You can re-teach the concepts that
their therapist is teaching them.
If they're not in therapy, however...
You can teach them what you've
learned on the Internet...
What you've read in books...
What you've learned from your
own therapist...
What you've learned from talking
to supporters of other loved ones
with borderline personality disorder...
What you've learned about mental
illness or personality disorders in
general...
And what you've learned about your
loved one and yourself.
You can teach your loved one about
that last point without reading any
books at all!
What about you?
Have you been able to "teach" your
loved one?
Have they listened to you?
If so, please share what happened.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml