Borderline Supporter? Use This 5-Letter Word to Cope
Published: Wed, 05/27/09
Hi ,
How are you doing?
I hope you're having a good day.
I know there are times that you
struggle.
I hear it from a lot of supporters
of loved ones with borderline
personality disorder.
They ask me all the time how to
cope with their loved one's behavior.
They tell me how much they hate it
when they get yelled and screamed
at.
They tell me they hate all the fighting,
especially when it seems to be about
nothing, or something they can't even
remember.
And they hate when they get blamed
for it.
Or for something they know they
didn't do.
Which probably happens a lot.
Along with the name calling.
And the criticizing, humiliation,
degradation, and everything else
that comes with living with someone
who has borderline personality
disorder.
So I'm always getting asked, "How
do I cope?"
How do you cope with a loved one
with borderline personality disorder?
I'll give you a simple 5 letter word:
TRUTH.
That's it. With the truth.
Remember the truth?
That's what has gotten buried under
all those confusing thoughts and
emotions that living with a loved
one with borderline personality
disorder can bring.
You have to return to the truth in
order to cope and deal with them.
In my main course and resource I
talk about other ways of coping
and dealing with a loved one with
borderline personality disorder:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But here's where the truth comes in,
and the main way you can deal with
all of this.
Concentrate on the TRUTH.
When you are being called names,
ask yourself if you are really those
things that you are being called.
When you are being humiliated,
degraded, put-down, etc., ask
yourself if you deserve any of
those things.
When you are being accused of
doing something, or of lying,
did you do it? Did you really lie?
And all the other things, ask yourself,
do you deserve to be treated this way?
Now you're getting to the truth.
NO!!!
You don't deserve any of it.
The truth is that your loved one is
acting this way because they have a
mental illness called borderline
personality disorder.
When untreated, they will continue
these behaviors, and the best way for
you to cope and deal with it is to remind
yourself of what the truth is -
Your loved one is sick; NOT you.
Your loved one is inside there somewhere
and, just like you've seen during normal
periods, would not treat you this way
on purpose -
It's the borderline personality disorder,
not them.
The truth is that you are a great supporter
for sticking with them this long.
The truth is that you are a very caring,
giving individual.
The truth is that you work really, really
hard to maintain this relationship.
The truth is that their behavior confuses
you.
You don't understand why they act like
they do.
You can't stand the unpredictability
of it all.
But the real truth is that you love them
anyway.
And you want them to be ok.
So you want them to seek treatment.
That's the truth you need to concentrate
on.
That's what is going to help you get
through all the other stuff.
You need to try to get them to see how
much their behavior hurts you.
You have to somehow get them out of
their denial that there's nothing wrong
with them.
Once you can do that, once you can get
them to see the truth, then they will be
able to cope, too.
Agree or disagree?
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml