Borderline Supporter? How to Get Out From Down Under
Published: Thu, 06/11/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
You know, there are people
who lie in this world.
Recently I had someone who
lied to me so bad.
She lied about one thing.
Then she lied about another
thing.
Then she even lied about something
else.
She lied about so many things that
she got tripped up in her own lies!
I don't know how she expected that
I wouldn't find out.
But I did.
Do you know how?
Scroll down for answer.
Keep scrolling.
One more time.
She couldn't get out from down under.
In other words, even she couldn't
remember what lies she told.
There are people who do that with money.
They spend it on cars.
They spend it on houses.
They spend it on sending their kids to
expensive schools.
They go to exclusive clubs.
They overextend their cash flow.
They live beyond their means.
And then they lose their jobs.
And all of a sudden all those fine
things are in jeopardy of being lost
to them.
Do you know why?
Because they can't get out from down
under.
Well, it's the same thing with borderline
personality disorder.
You may feel as if things have piled up
on you.
Your loved one has degraded your
self-esteem to the point that you have no
self-confidence left.
Your loved one has become so controlling
that you can't even answer the phone or
check the mail.
Your loved one has become so possessive
that you can't make plans without them
or have your own set of friends.
Your loved one accuses you and fights
with you over things you've never even
done, until you don't even fight back
any more.
You feel smothered and in a "crazy"
world, where you wonder if you yourself
are going crazy, too.
You feel like you can't get out from down
under either.
Many supporters of a loved one with
borderline personality disorder feel the
same way.
But there is a way to get out from down
under.
Like in the two examples I used before.
With the girl who lied so much.
All she had to do was confess her lies and
stop lying.
Then she could get out from down under.
With the man who got in over his head
financially.
If he would quit spending money so
frivolously and with some debt counseling,
he could get out from down under.
With you, it's a little harder, but it CAN
be done.
As far as being degraded until your self-
esteem is so low that you've lost your
self-confidence, there are ways to get that
back.
Like establishing your own identity apart
from your loved one's.
Do things that you like to do, that make
you feel good about yourself.
Do things that you're good at doing.
Things that use your creative abilities
and talents.
Eventually, you will gain your self-
esteem and self-confidence back.
Some of the other behaviors like
degrading are characteristics of
borderline personality disorder, and
that's why I go over them in my
main course and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
As far as your loved one being controlling
and possessive, you need to sit down
with them during a normal period (and
NOT when they're acting out or out of
control - this is important), and try to
communicate to them how you feel.
It's important that you have your own set
of friends and your own social life. Try
to have time to spend with your family
as well.
And have some things that you do that
do not include your loved one.
As far as the accusations go, well, you
know what the truth is. You know
what you've done and haven't done.
Try to remember that.
The fighting, unfortunately, is part of
your loved one's borderline personality
disorder and will happen.
The most important thing is that you
don't fight back, because it will not get
you anywhere and might make your
loved one worse. Just wait out the storm.
Have you found ways to get out from
down under?
Anything that has proven effective for
you?
I'd love to hear about it.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml