Borderline Supporter? Use the Past
Published: Thu, 05/21/09
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
Have you ever heard this quote by
the famous prophet named Santayana?
It goes like this:
"Those who do not remember
the past are condemned to repeat
it."
These days, people are told not
to think about their past, to try
to forget their past, because there's
not anything they can do about it.
And I might even agree with that,
except...
In your case, it can work in your
favor to remember your past,
at least your past with your
loved one with borderline
personality disorder.
This is what I mean -
I want you to think about all the
times that your loved one has
picked on you...
All the times that your loved
one has called you names...
All the times that your loved
one has yelled and screamed
at you...
All the times that your loved
one has criticized you...
All the times that your loved
one has started fights with you...
All the times that your loved
one has acted clingy with you
one minute and then acted like
they hated you the next minute)...
All the times your loved one
embarrassed you (at home or in
public)...
All the times that your loved
one has frightened you...
All the times your loved one
acted impulsively...
All the times you worried about
your loved one's unpredictable
behavior...
All the times your loved one
hurt you...
All the times you just didn't
think you could take any more...
All the times that...
Well, the list goes on and on.
Now think about this:
What do all these things have
in common?
Scroll down for the answer.
Keep scrolling...
Scroll some more...
You're almost there...
Bet you didn't guess it!
What all these things have
in common is...
That you've been through all
of them before!
Haven't you?
In the past, you've been through
all of these things before (and more).
And you know what else?
YOU GOT THROUGH THEM!!!
So here's what I'm getting at.
Like Santayana's quote, most people
take it that what you did in the past,
you shouldn't repeat, thinking that
it's about mistakes.
But let's look at it this way as it
applies to you and your loved one
with borderline personality disorder.
It's not about mistakes that you've
made.
.
It's about what's worked and
what hasn't worked.
Many supporters have tried everything
they could think of and still haven't
gotten anywhere with their loved
one. That's one of the reasons I
offer suggestions of what to do
in my main course and resource
below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But I WANT you to remember your
past with your loved one.
Not the mistakes, but the things that
worked.
If you did something that was
effective, then...
Do that thing again!
If you did something that didn't
work...
Then DON'T do that thing
again!
It's just that simple.
Your loved one has certain
patterns to their behavior.
You can learn these patterns.
And you can use the past to
predict the future.
What ways have you found that
have worked with your loved one?
What ways haven't worked?'
What happened?
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml