Borderline Behavior – Yours vs. Theirs
Published: Thu, 07/02/09
Hi ,
How's it going today?
I hope you're having a good day.
I have this friend who runs his
own business.
And it's a very successful business,
too.
But right in the middle of everything,
he just ups and goes to Europe!
And do you know what he does there?
He relaxes and drinks.
That's it!
He doesn't go there to make European
contacts.
He doesn't go there to expand his
business.
He doesn't go there to run his business
from Europe.
He doesn't go there on a planned vacation.
He just takes off, goes to Europe, and
relaxes and drinks.
And you know what?
My friend doesn't even have borderline
personality disorder!
But here's my point:
You don't have to have borderline
personality disorder to exhibit borderline
behavior.
Certainly what my friend did was impulsive
behavior.
And I'm not judging him or anything,
because what he did was his own business.
But what I'm pointing out is that if you
look at yourself, you can see that even
you can exhibit some of the behaviors of
borderline personality disorder, too, and
you don't have the disorder.
For example, I'm sure you've done some
impulsive things as well.
Something spur-of-the-moment, something
you didn't plan ahead of time.
Everybody does, at some point in their life.
Because there has to be some spontaneity
to our lives, or else they would be boring,
right?
And sometimes you get angry yourself.
That's just natural.
Everyone gets angry sometimes.
What about other emotions, like fear or
loneliness or wanting to be loved?
We've all felt those things at some time
or another in our lives.
And those are all feelings that someone
with borderline personality disorder
feels as well.
There are other characteristics of the
disorder as well, and I go over all of
them in my main course and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
So there are a lot of similarities between
the behavior, characteristics, and feelings
of someone with borderline personality
disorder and "normal" people, even yourself.
BUT...
There is one BIG difference, that separates
your loved one from you.
They take these things to the extreme.
Their fear becomes fear of abandonment.
Their anger becomes rage.
Their loneliness becomes clinginess.
Their love can be an unhealthy love.
And their impulsivity can lead to all
kinds of dangerous behaviors.
Their characteristics, behavior, and
feelings are different from yours,
because your loved one has a mental illness.
They have borderline personality disorder.
Sometimes this means that they can't
help the way they are.
But sometimes they can.
They can at least work on some of their
behaviors.
With your help, anyway.
If you can communicate to them, for
example, that something they have
said has hurt you, then maybe they
won't say that again.
That's how we learn.
And, hopefully, that's how your loved
one will learn how to treat you respectfully.
But you have to help them to change
their behavior.
Of course, this does NOT mean that
they don't need treatment.
They definitely need treatment for their
borderline personality disorder, or they
will not change their behavior in the long run.
If they don't get help for their disorder,
they won't be able to change the underlying
reasons for why they act the way they do.
For example, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
(DBT) is one type of therapy that specializes
in helping people with borderline personality
disorder.
It helps them, for instance, to deal with
their basic fears, like the fear of abandonment.
It also helps them to learn to have healthy
relationships.
Other types of therapy can work on the
same types of problem areas that your
loved one has.
Without treatment, though, you can only
go so far to help your loved one to
change their extreme acting out behaviors.
Are you having problems with your
loved one's extreme borderline behavior?
Have you tried to get them to get help?
What has happened?
If they have gotten help, has it made
a difference?
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml