Borderline? Lesson From The Ball Game
Published: Wed, 07/08/09
Hi ,
I hope you're doing well.
I have a little goddaughter.
I talk about her all the time, because
I don't have children all my own
to brag about and because, well,
she's just the cutest thing in the world!
She's always doing the craziest things,
you know, kid things.
Well, you know how kids like to play
with balls.
Guess what?
So do dogs.
And kids love to throw balls for dogs
to go catch and bring back to them.
But when kids get tired, they want to
stop playing.
But you know what?
Sometimes the dog can go on and on
and it seems like they'll never get
tired of playing!
They just keep bringing that ball back
over and over again!
Well, my goddaughter got tired of the
game after awhile.
But the dog didn't - he just wanted to
keep playing and playing and playing!
And things started taking a turn for
the worse, as you can imagine!
She hit the dog with the ball!
Well, the dog still thought this was
part of the game, so he brought the
ball back to her!
It was the funniest thing to watch!
But then it wasn't so funny.
Because eventually the dog got the
hint that the game really was over,
and laid down in the middle of the
floor, sort of hanging his head over
his paws.
I felt so sorry for this dog!
If he was a human being, I swear
I would say that he was sulking!
My goddaughter just rolled over and
took a nap.
I guess she was just pooped out from
the ball game.
So you're probably wondering what
the point of this whole story is, right?
And what it could possibly have to do
with borderline personality disorder?
Well, I'll tell you.
Sometimes what seems like a very good
thing...
Can get old.
Sometimes, two people can be doing
the same thing and enjoying it...
Then one person gets tired of it...
And just "lays down and takes a nap..."
In spite of how the other person feels
about it.
The other person, let's say you, can still
feel like things are working, but your
loved one is all of a sudden "tired" of
the way things are going, and wants
to change them.
And you may feel as if this is a surprise,
that it has come out of nowhere!
In my main course and resource below,
I talk about the impulsivity of a person
with borderline personality, and that's
exactly what this type of behavior comes
across as:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
When your loved one swings from one
mood to another, they may be prone to
make a personality shift, where they may
have been one way yesterday, and a
totally different way today.
You may have just gotten used to the way
they were, but now you have to get used
to a new way "the game" is being played.
Another thing that is very hard to
adapt to, but can be compared to the
ball game of the child and the dog is
the "push/pull" phenomenon so common
to a borderline relationship.
Just when you think you've got it figured
out...
The "game" changes!
All of a sudden, you don't know the "rules"
anymore!
Or you may be used to the ball game,
but then your loved one "lays down
and doesn't want to play anymore."
And there you are...
So confused!
One minute they want to "play" with
you (love you, even be clingy), and
the next minute they push you away,
don't want anything to do with you.
Game over.
And what about the fights?
You can fight until you're blue in the
face, but you'll never win.
Because there are no set rules.
And you're loved one will fight (because
they know they're right) until they "get
tired," have run out of steam, or just
plain want to stop fighting.
So what can you do?
You either play the game by your
loved one's rules...
Or you stop playing the game, roll
over like my goddaughter, and
"take a nap" (quit fighting back).
Have you ever felt like you're playing
a game of "ball" with your loved one?
Have you ever felt like the rules keep
changing?
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml