Borderline? Does This Only Happen In The Movies?
Published: Thu, 06/18/09
Hi ,
How's it going today?
You know how I love horror movies, right?
Well, there's this one old movie
where the guy gets totally brainwashed!
It goes through the whole movie,
and the guy, well, he never totally
gets his own personality back, he
just stays brainwashed and under
the control of the evil scientist.
Well, in a way this has to do with
borderline personality disorder and you.
No, your loved one is no evil scientist.
But they may be doing something that
is like brainwashing to you.
Webster's dictionary actually has a
definition of brainwashing.
One definition it gives is: "a forcible
indoctrination to induce someone
to give up basic political social, or
religious beliefs and attitudes and
to accept contrasting regimented ideas."
The other definition is: "persuasion
by propaganda or salesmanship."
Do you see how both could be applied to you?
If your loved one tells you something
over and over and over enough times,
you might start to believe it.
Take, for example, name calling.
If your loved one tells you that
you're stupid, or ugly, or incompetent
enough times, you will start to
believe that you are stupid, or ugly,
or incompetent.
Here's a true story to illustrate
what I mean:
There was a little girl who wanted
to be a writer when she grew up.
She would write stories and poetry
and show them to her teacher.
No matter how good her writing
was, her teacher would discourage
her, and tell her that her writing
would never make her money in the
real world and that she could never
be successful with it - that she should
concentrate on learning a career
that would make her a good living.
Well, the little girl put away her writing
and concentrated on her studies.
She went to college and got a
career in management, but she was
never happy.
Oh, she made good money,
all right. But all she had ever
wanted to do was write.
She had her career, and she had
her money, but she was not doing
what she loved to do.
Because that teacher had told her
so many times that writing would
never make her money and that she
would never become successful in
life with her writing, she believed it.
She had been brainwashed by her teacher.
I'm sure the teacher didn't realize what
she was doing, or maybe even meant
well for the little girl, thinking she was
doing the best thing for her.
Your loved one may even be thinking
the same thing with you, like I talk about
in my main course and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
They may even tell you that what they're
doing is for your own good, but you
may still feel hurt by it.
But the way they may brainwash you is
just like the Webster's dictionary
definition says.
They can do this by isolating you, so
that you can't check out what they're
saying, or if it's true.
They could be telling you a lie, but if
they tell it to you enough times, and
make it sound so believable (and like
they believe it themselves), you begin
to believe it too.
Here's an example that is very common
with people that have borderline
personality disorder:
Your loved one might tell you that their
boss hates them, and that's why they
have so many problems at work.
Then they might even lose their job,
and it might be because they said
something to the boss that caused
them to be fired, but they think they're
right and the boss was wrong.
But by now, you believe your loved
one, because you've heard it so many
times that you're brainwashed.
They may say something along the
same lines about why they have problems
with family relationships, or why past
relationships with other people did not
work out for them, always blaming the
other person or people.
That's part of their borderline personality
disorder, too - problems with interpersonal
relationships.
But let's get back to Webster's and how
your loved one may be brainwashing you.
"A forcible indoctrination to get someone
to give up basic...beliefs and attitudes
and accept contrasting ideas."
How could someone get you to do that?
Isolation is a main way. By controlling
you is another way. Combining the two
is a recipe for brainwashing for sure.
Isolation and control are two main things
that someone with borderline personality
disorder does to their supporter.
Then they begin their acting out behavior
against you, and you start believing the
things they say and do...
And before you know it...
You've been brainwashed.
The defense you have against this is
to maintain some form of independence.
Do not let yourself become isolated.
Keep your family and friends, and do
not let your loved one force you to
center only around them.
Try to have other relationships (family,
friends, loved ones, co-workers, support
group, therapist, church, etc.) outside of
your loved one, who can give you a reality
check and keep you from being brainwashed.
Do not let your loved one be so controlling
as to keep you from outside activities,
as this will help you as well.
If something your loved one tells you
sounds like it isn't true, it probably isn't.
Check it out before you blindly believe them.
These are just some suggestions.
Have you been in a similar situation?
Has your loved one tried to brainwash you?
Your Friend,
Dave
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