Borderline? Stop Living in Fear
Published: Wed, 09/02/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
I hope you're having a good
day.
There are many things people
are afraid of.
Snakes.
Spiders.
Monsters.
And some even worse fears.
These the doctors call phobias,
like:
Afraid to go outside.
Afraid to be alone.
Afraid of dying.
There is even a fear associated
with borderline personality disorder.
Only it's for the supporter.
Some supporters live in fear of their
loved one's actions and behavior.
Of what they might do.
Of the consequences of what they do.
Of what they might say.
Many supporters report a fear of
doing or saying the wrong thing.
Or even of being afraid of their loved
one.
In my main course and resource, you
learn about all the different ways that
your loved one can act out, and how to
cope and deal with it.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Living in fear is not healthy.
The stress.
The anxiety.
Even physical effects, like headaches.
You can experience loss of appetite.
You can lose sleep.
Fear can do all those things to you.
Then there are the psychological
effects of borderline fear.
Like poor self-esteem.
Or poor self-image.
Or being afraid to go anywhere
because of what your loved one
might say or do.
Borderline fear leads to other
things, as well.
Frustration.
Resentment.
Anger.
Disappointment.
Then, if you keep holding these
things inside, you can even make
yourself sick.
The key is to learn to stop living
in fear.
You know your loved one.
You should know what their triggers
are (things or people that "set them off").
You also know what they are like when
they are acting out.
These are called symptoms.
The thing is, that you can usually see
the symptoms before your loved one
gets out of control.
That's when you have to step in, before
it's too late.
Before the fear arrives.
Even if you simply say, "Honey, you've
been acting a bit differently lately. Is
there something going on?" or something
like it, you're taking a step away from fear.
You're being assertive.
You're taking action.
And taking action puts the fear away.
For example:
Say your loved one is calling you
names.
You may have a deep-seated fear
that you really are the names you're
being called.
The stress and anxiety kick in.
And of course your self-esteem
would take a plunge...
IF you believed it!
BUT...You could fight the fear.
You could take action.
First of all, you can tell yourself
that you are NOT the things
you're being called.
Positive self-talk is a good strategy
against fear.
Then, you can be assertive.
You can tell your loved one that you
are NOT those things, and you don't
want to be called names any more.
Hopefully, it will work the first time.
But if it doesn't, do the same thing
the next time.
And the next.
You will feel stronger and less fearful.
And eventually, your loved one will
stop calling you names.
You can do this with their other
borderline behaviors as well.
Stop living in fear.
Use your common sense.
Use positive self-talk.
Use being assertive.
Use being repetitious.
These are all ways to fight
borderline fear.
Have you experienced any
of these fears?
What did you do about them?
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml