Borderline Disorder? Recharge Your Purpose Batteries
Published: Mon, 09/07/09
Hi ,
How are you doing?
I read this article recently about a
77-year-old woman who was married
to her husband for many, many years.
Then one day he died suddenly.
She grieved for her husband for several
months, but then...
The article says she "regrouped and got
back into the business of living."
She started volunteering again at her
church, worked as a fundraiser for a
gospel radio program, and delivered
used magazines to elderly hospital
patients.
She said, "I realized the world wasn't
going to come to me, so I went back
out into the world."
She also said, "I reconnected with old
friends and felt satisfaction from helping
the community. I guess you could say
that I recharged my purpose batteries."
She ended by saying that as long as she's
around, she can make a difference.
There's something else I discovered:
A 2005 research study that followed
12,640 middle-aged Hungarians found
that those who felt their lives had meaning
had significantly lower rates of cancer
and heart disease that did those who didn't
feel this way.
So if you have a purpose to your life, you
can actually live longer and healthier!
But I like how that woman put it:
Recharge your purpose batteries.
People who have borderline personality
disorder can get so into themselves that
they lose sight of any greater purpose but
to satisfy their needs.
The basic characteristics of borderline
personality disorder, in fact, all stem from
a need in the person, like I talk about in my
main course and system.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
The greatest cause of borderline
personality disorder in the first place
is not having needs met as a child.
So now you're living with an adult (or
have an adult friend, or whatever) who has
these basic insecurities and needs that
have to be met some way.
And they're looking to you to meet them.
If they have a need for attention, they
will exhibit attention-getting behavior.
But it's not always so simple.
Because some of these needs go so deep
that even the person with borderline
personality disorder is not aware of them.
Still their behavior reflects it, and that's
what you see.
Many have a real need to be in control,
because deep down, they don't feel like
they have any control.
So they may be very controlling with you.
They may have to be the one who answers
the phone and checks the mail.
They may even try to tell you how to dress,
how to act, what friends you can have,
and even where you can go (and not).
People with borderline personality
disorder have a deep-seated fear of
abandonment.
Yet this fear may come out as anger and
rage.
They may also accuse you of wanting to
be with someone else other than them.
This could come from their fear of
abandonment, but also from their lack of a
sense of who they are.
They don't know who they are, or at least
they are struggling with it.
Usually, people like your loved one have
poor self-esteem, even though on the outside
they might seem to be the most charismatic,
self-confident person you know.
Or else that's the face they show to the rest
of the world, but the opposite to you
at home.
There is no way you can meet all your loved
one's needs.
Especially since some (most) of them, they
may not know about or, even if they do, they
may not talk to you about.
Sometimes their fear and insecurity can
come out as jealousy.
They might accuse you of doing something
that you never did, or jump to conclusions
where there is nothing to jump to.
For example, if you are late getting home
from work one day, you might find yourself
accused of having an affair with the boss.
Many people with borderline personality
disorder have great ideas, great plans, but
they don't follow through with them.
They have the idea, but they don't have
the consistency in them to follow it through
to the end.
With extensive, long-term therapy, some of
these problems will come under control.
But the deepest need they have is to have a
sense of purpose.
Just like you and me.
Without a sense of purpose, why get out of
bed in the morning?
What about you?
Is it time to recharge your own "purpose
batteries?"
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml