Can You Catch Borderline Personality Disorder?
Published: Wed, 09/09/09
Hi ,
I hope you're doing ok today.
Today I want to address a question
that I get asked all the time by supporters
of loved ones with borderline personality
disorder.
"Can you catch borderline personality
disorder?"
And the answer is "NO." You can't "catch"
the disorder from your loved one like
you could catch the flu or something from
them.
Borderline personality disorder stems from
childhood, and usually from issues of
abandonment or abuse during those formative
years.
It may take until adulthood for the symptoms
to show up in that person, but it still stems
from childhood (toddlerhood) at its root,
and specifically from a caretaker.
There are very specific symptoms to
borderline personality disorder.
I go over all the signs and symptoms of the
disorder in my main course and system,
but I'll just go over a few in this email.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
The point I'm trying to make is that you
CANNOT "catch" borderline personality
disorder from your loved one, but you
CAN "catch" their borderline behavior!
For example, let's choose their behavior
of anger and acting out on that by fighting
with you.
You can get angry too, if you aren't careful,
and you can pick a fight as well. Worse yet,
you can keep that anger stuffed down inside
you for so long, and then it erupts like a
volcano into rage at your loved one.
Many times your loved one will be depressed.
Although this is another part of their
borderline personality disorder, you can
"catch" this borderline behavior as well.
If you aren't careful to stay positive, you
can get something that I call "borderline
supporter depression."
In other words, you wouldn't be depressed
if you weren't dealing with a loved one who
has borderline personality disorder.
You may also be suffering from stress, insomnia,
and anxiety, just like your loved one.
These are also symptoms of borderline personality
disorder, but you can "catch" them as well.
You may even have to take medication just
like your loved one probably does.
And just as your loved one goes to therapy
to help them with their problems, you may
have to go to a therapist to help you cope
and deal with your own problems as they
relate to your loved one's borderline
personality disorder and your own stress,
insomnia, anxiety, etc.
Where does this phenomenon come from?
Well, you weren't born with it.
And you didn't develop borderline
personality disorder like your loved one.
But borderline personality disorder
affects not only the person who has it,
but it also the people close to them.
You can only be around depression,
anxiety, stress, and suffering for so
long before you, too, start experiencing
those symptoms for yourself.
There is one big difference between
your loved one and you, though.
You do NOT have borderline
personality disorder!
That's the good news.
The bad news is that you may still
suffer from your own (natural)
depression from time to time, as
life's difficulties face you.
That's normal, borderline or not.
The stress you experience may
also be outside the realm of your
loved one's borderline personality
disorder, but from other sources
such as work, family, etc.
There are a few things you CAN
do, however, in order not to "catch"
your loved one's borderline symptoms.
1. Keep your identity separate
from your loved one's.
2. Remember that he/she is the
one with borderline personality
disorder, and NOT you!
3. Stay positive.
4. Don't let yourself get so overwhelmed
by your loved one and their borderline
symptoms that you get stressed out
and anxious yourself.
Keeping your identity separate from
your loved one's is very important.
It will help you not to become codependent.
You will be able to keep your
independence as well, and to be able
to run "reality checks" on your loved
one's behavior so that you don't catch it.
For example, when your loved one
is calling you names, if you don't
have your own identity (and the
self-esteem that goes with it), you
might tend to believe them and what
they're saying about you.
Then you might feel hurt, anger, and
other negative feelings like your loved
one feels.
Whereas, if you perform a "reality
check," you will know that what they
are saying is NOT true.
If you can stay positive, you can keep
your eyes on the future.
Be optimistic that your loved one
CAN recover.
Focus on the good days, when your
loved one is "normal," and not on the
days when their behavior may be out
of control, or when they have episodes
of anger or rage.
And remember to take care of yourself
FIRST.
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml