Borderline? Learn to Let Go
Published: Wed, 08/19/09
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope you're doing ok.
There was a woman on my mailing
list who was a "hoarder."
She just could never throw away
things, or let them go.
Until it got out of hand.
For example, her dining room table
was so cluttered that she couldn't
see to the table top.
This, of course, was just a symptom
of something else -
The inability to let things go.
Her therapist encouraged her to just
do one area at a time, however small,
and clean off that area.
She did that, starting with just a
corner.
It took some time, but eventually that
whole table was cleared off.
When asked about it, she told her
therapist that she felt "cleaner" inside
as well.
Sometimes it's hard to let things go.
For example, some people hold onto
old grudges.
Some nurse new resentments.
Some just stuff their feelings, just
like that woman hoarded things she
didn't need.
Living with or dealing with someone
who has borderline personality
disorder is never easy.
You will naturally develop negative
feelings.
In my main course and resource below,
I discuss these negative feelings and
how you have to let go of them:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
When we were little, we had something
called a "do over."
Where you got a second chance.
Well, If you can let go of something,
it's like getting a "do over."
I'm not saying this is an easy thing to
do.
I'm just saying that sometimes it's
necessary.
If you keep holding onto negative
feelings, you will end up stressed-out.
If you are feeling stress now, try to
discover the source of that stress.
It may be because you are keeping
your feelings inside, afraid to let your
loved one know how you're feeling.
Maybe you're afraid they won't understand.
Maybe you're walking around on
eggshells, afraid to say or do the wrong
thing, so you just keep everything inside.
Maybe your communication has broken
down.
Maybe your loved one is even the source
of your stress.
Or maybe not them, but their borderline
personality disorder.
If you've gotten to the point where the
stress is beginning to show, you need
to let go.
"Clean off your table," so to speak.
If nothing else, keeping a journal might
help you.
Sometimes just by writing your thoughts
and feelings down can give you a new
perspective.
What you thought was a big problem
may seem lesser after you re-read
what you write about it.
Or at least might be more manageable.
Some people get great insight into
their problems by using a journal.
The best thing would be if you were
able to talk to your loved one about
how you feel.
For that, you need good communication.
You can't walk around afraid of saying
the wrong thing, or you will end up
"hoarding" those negative feelings.
And that will just create more stress
for you.
You know your loved one better than
anyone else.
Even if it's not now, at least there was
a time when you could share your
feelings with them...
Without fear of repercussions.
If you have that fear, however, you have
to let go.
If not, you will make yourself sick.
Or the stress will begin to show in
other ways.
Like anxiety, or insomnia.
If what is bothering you is something
you can talk about (or at least write
about), do that.
If not, then just let it go.
Are you holding onto negative feelings
that need to be expressed?
Try using a journal if you can't talk
to someone about them.
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml