Dealing with Borderline? Think About Alice
Published: Wed, 05/19/10
Hi ,
How are you today?
I hope you're doing well.
My friend has a framed picture
of Alice in Wonderland and the
Cheshire cat in her office.
Why?
Because of what it says.
Here's what it says:
The Road to Somewhere
"Cheshire-Puss,"...said Alice,
Would you tell me please, which
way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on
where you want to get to," said
the cat.
"I don't much care where--"
said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which
way you go," said the cat.
"...So long as I get somewhere."
Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that,"
said the cat, "if you only walk
long enough."
--------------------------------------------
"If you only walk long enough..."
Sometimes we give up on things
too easily.
We don't "walk long enough."
Sometimes our trials are difficult.
That's true.
And sometimes our problems
seem insurmountable.
That can be true as well.
But your trials and problems are
not going to go away by just
ignoring them.
You'll have to deal with them
somehow.
Maybe you try something.
But that doesn't work.
So what do you do?
Give up and feel sorry for
yourself?
NO!
You "walk long enough"
until you get to the solution
of your problems.
If one thing doesn't work,
you try something else.
And even if that doesn't
work, you still can't give
up - try something else.
Do you see what I'm saying?
I hate to use a cliché, but you
know the one about, "If at first
you don't succeed, try and try
again."
Sometimes the answers to
our problems are easy.
Sometimes they're right in
front of us.
But much of the time, you have
to dig for the answer, just like a
dog digs for his bone.
He knows it's buried there
somewhere, and he doesn't
give up until he finds it.
You need to be the same way.
Perseverance in problem solving
is something that I teach in my
main course and resource:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Perseverance.
Don't stop.
Keep going.
Don't give up.
Like the Cheshire cat told
Alice, you'll get there, "if you
only walk long enough."
And he says it doesn't much
matter which way you go.
So there are several approaches
to any problem.
Sometimes it helps to look at it
objectively, or as if it were
happening to someone else.
Write it down.
Pretend it is somebody else's
problem.
What would you tell them?
What possible things would
you tell them to try to solve
their problem?
Then start listing possible
solutions.
And "keep walking long
enough" until you get there
(at the solution).
What do you think of this?
Have you ever tried it?
Your Friend,
Dave
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