Borderline Lesson from a Surfer
Published: Wed, 10/21/09
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're having a great
day.
Have you ever watched a
surfer?
(even if only on TV)
You see how they ride the
waves.
If you talk to them, they'll tell
you that the higher the wave,
the better.
Say you were on a beach.
You'd see these people surfing,
but you'd see many more people
who won't go near the water
when it's that full of waves.
Either they're afraid, or they
just don't want to deal with the
waves.
Think how this can apply to
you.
Think of the waves as an acting
out episode from your loved one.
You may be afraid.
You may feel intimidated.
Or you just may not want to
deal with it.
You may even wonder if it's
worth it sometimes.
In my main course and resource,
I do discuss the bad parts of being
with someone who has borderline
personality disorder, but I also talk
about recovery from this disorder,
because there's always hope.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But let's go back to that surfer.
Think of that surfer as you.
While other people are afraid
of the waves, the surfer has
mastered the waves.
You, too, can master being a
supporter of a loved one with
borderline personality disorder.
Now, the first time the surfer
hit the waves, he probably
bombed out.
In fact, he probably bombed out
a lot in the beginning.
It took TIME for him to master
those waves.
Just like it's going to take your
loved one time to master their
borderline personality disorder.
And just like it's going to take
time for you to master it.
What a surfer does is look at
those waves differently than other
people do.
He looks at it as an opportunity.
Nothing to be scared of.
You, too, have the opportunity
to fight your loved one's borderline
personality disorder.
Look for opportunities to make
the best of things.
Look for the good instead of
the bad.
Learn how to take the good with
the bad.
Just like that surfer.
He's not perfect.
He doesn't catch the wave every
time.
Sometimes he gets dumped
into the water by the waves.
But he doesn't give up.
Because to him it's worth it.
If you didn't think it was worth
it to stay with your loved one,
I don't think you would still be
there, would you?
So there has to be a reason why
you stay, in spite of the bad.
It's because there is good there
too, just sometimes you have to
wait for it like the surfer waits
for the best waves.
No one said it would be easy.
I never said in my main course and
resource that supporting a loved one
with borderline personality disorder
is easy.
I know it's not.
In fact, sometimes it's downright
impossible, you might think.
Just remember, though...
You are fighting an illness, and
not a person.
Your loved one is sick.
Ask yourself how you would
treat a stranger who was sick?
Who acted like your loved one
does?
Would you have more sympathy?
When things get rough, as they
sometimes do, remember that.
Remember that your real fight
is with the disorder, and not with
your loved one.
And look at your problems as
opportunities, like that surfer
looks at waves.
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml