Borderline Supporter – Is This Worth It?
Published: Wed, 10/28/09
Hi ,
How are you today?
I hope you're having a good day.
If you sometimes question
why you do the things you do,
then you're not alone.
Everyone does that.
Even your loved one.
I'm sure after a bad time of it,
they come and apologize,
sometimes even saying that
they don't understand
themselves.
That doesn't mean that's an
excuse for why they do the
things they do, but it might
help you be more understanding.
At least give them credit for
taking responsibility.
Apologies are hard for people
who have borderline personality
disorder.
Sometimes they don't see the
wrong in what they say or do.
Do you ever ask yourself if it's
worth it?
That's one of the hardest questions
that supporters of loved ones with
borderline personality disorder
have to ask themselves sometimes.
Even in my main course and resource,
I talk about if it's worth it.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But from the many supporters I've
talked to, they say it is.
They have found ways to deal with
their loved one's sometimes bazaar
behavior.
So how do you make it through
the bad times so that you believe
it's worth it too?
Here are some suggestions from
other supporters:
1. Think about all the good points
to your relationship.
2. Think about who they really
are when they're not acting
out.
3. Remember why you're with
them in the first place.
4. Remember that for every bad
day, there are many more good
days.
5. Remember that they are sick.
6. Treat them like you would treat
anyone else who was sick.
7. Ask yourself if you'd be happier
without them.
8. Remember that you're with
them because you saw something
special in them.
9. Be patient during relapses, and
understand that they will happen.
10. Give them credit for trying to
change.
11. Think about the good instead of
the bad.
12. Remember that they love you -
they may just have trouble showing
you or at least in the way you
expect or want.
13. You are with them for a reason.
Keep that reason in mind when
things are bad.
14. Remember that they are a person
and not just a diagnosis.
15. Separate them from their
borderline personality disorder.
16. Keep looking forward to when
they'll be better.
17. Stay positive, even in the face of
negativity.
18. Keep a good attitude in spite of
things you don't like happening.
19. When you get discouraged,
remember that there is hope for
recovery for your loved one.
20. Think of them as a diamond in
the rough - and keep picturing
how things will be when your
loved one is recovered.
These are just some of the
suggestions I've gotten from
other supporters of loved ones
with borderline personality
disorder .
I know you have some of your
own.
Remember mostly that there IS
a reason that you are staying with
your loved one, in spite of the bad
days.
It will help you to be more patient
and understanding with them.
Think about how you really feel.
Do you think about leaving when
your loved one is acting out?
Is that what you really want?
Or do you stay in hopes that they
will get better?
Your Friend,
Dave
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help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml