Dealing With Borderline Personality? Thanksgiving Warning
Published: Tue, 11/24/09
Hi ,
How's it going today?
Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate
it.
I hope you're going to have a great day.
I have always loved the holidays,
especially when I was a kid.
I got to visit relatives I didn't
usually see ...
Eat lots of food...
And be really excited because
I was off from school!
I bet you were the same.
If there's one thing kids love,
it's being off from school.
But don't give up on the holiday
dinner part - they really love that,
too!
Now you're an adult, and
Thanksgiving may not be one of
your favorite holidays any
more.
Oh, I don't mean because you
have to be the one handing out
doing all the work for it now, or
anything...(because you may be
going somewhere else for your
Thanksgiving dinner)...
I mean because it's a holiday.
Holidays, any holidays, are
an enticement for someone with
borderline personality disorder
to exhibit acting out behavior.
It's the excitement that does it,
if it's not all out stress.
You've probably been invited
to a Thanksgiving gathering or
two, and that's where the problem
lies.
Your loved one's excitement
(or stress) may cause them to
exhibit acting out behavior
more at this time than usual.
In my main course and resource,
I talk about the holidays and how
to handle them with a loved one
who has borderline personality
disorder:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
The point is, that you can expect
acting out behavior from your
loved one.
It's like it's hotwired in to their
borderline system.
Anything that brings excitement,
like a party, is enough to aggravate
their symptoms.
Every holiday should come with a
warning for you.
Be aware that at this time and
during this season (with Thanksgiving
and Christmas as well), your loved one
will probably act up more than usual.
Their acting out behavior is an
outward sign of their inward
problems - like insecurity.
Many people who have borderline
personality disorder are very
charismatic people.
Others like to be around them.
They draw others to them with
their personality.
So, put them at a party, and they
are usually the center of attention.
The problem is, this behavior is
only in response to the stress or
excitement caused by the event.
And the behavior can turn foul
when you get home.
Yes, that same person who was
just the life of the party can
come home and start up with
you.
They might pick a fight over
nothing.
Or accuse you of doing something
you never did.
For example, seemingly out of
nowhere may come the accusation
that you were flirting with someone
at the party.
You know you didn't do that, but
your loved one is very sincere in
their accusations.
You really have no defense,
because they really believe what
they PERCEIVE happened.
And the next thing you know,
you're in a fight.
Having been with your loved one
for awhile now, you know that you
can never win any of these fights.
You can try to defend yourself,
but you won't win.
This is your loved one's response
to the aggravated symptoms from
the excitement of the party.
They may have no control over
their anger...
But you do.
You can control your response
to their anger.
Just don't fight back (no matter
how much you want to).
And, hopefully, soon they
will calm down, and then you
can talk.
If you are aware ahead of time
that your loved one may act
out more than usual, you can
be prepared.
You will need to be more
patient and understanding
than usual.
And try to keep the stress
levels to a minimum, even
if it means not going to any
parties.
What happened last year at
this time?
How did you respond?
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml