Dealing With Borderline Personality? Want This?
Published: Wed, 01/20/10
Hi ,
How are you?
I hope you're doing well.
There are so many things in
our society these days that
are temporary.
People have a problem in
permanent relationships because
they have a problem with
commitment.
We rent our homes rather than
buy because we don't want the
permanent commitment to
buying a house.
We lease our cars rather than buy
because it is temporary, and then
we can trade in for a newer car.
We even have temporary
tattoos!
Well, in my main course and
resource I talk about how any
change needs to be a permanent
one if you're going to get better.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Or, if you're a supporter, any change
you want to make to yourself should
be a permanent one if you want to
be the best supporter (or person)
that you can be.
To be a permanent change involves...
CONSISTENCY.
Yes, you have to be consistent
if you want your change to be
permanent.
It's like changing a habit.
Exchanging a good habit for
a bad one...
You have to be consistent in
the exchange.
Let's take biting your nails,
for example.
Say you want to stop biting
them permanently.
If you tell yourself that every
time you catch yourself biting
your nails, you will slap your
hand...
And then EVERY time you
bite your nails, you slap your
hand...
It will eventually become a
permanent change, and you
will quit biting your nails!
But, again, the key word is
consistency.
What if you wanted to quit
smoking?
You might work it out that EVERY
time you want to have a
cigarette, you chew a piece of
sugarless gum (one of the best
ways to do it, by the way).
So if you do it EVERY time...
You will have...
CONSISTENCY...
...and you will have broken a
habit and quit smoking!
Ok, let's get a little more
difficult now, but remember
that the principle is the same.
You can change any bad habit
by replacing it with a good one
consistently.
Remember, you must be consistent
for any change to be a permanent
one.
So, say there is a behavior that
your loved one does that hurts you,
and you want them to change it.
Well, you can't change your loved
one, because you have no control
over them.
But you can help them change their
behavior by setting a boundary...
...and then being CONSISTENT.
For example, say they rage at you in
their anger, yelling at you all the time.
And you want this to change.
So you tell your loved one that EVERY
time they yell at you, you will leave
the room.
And then EVERY time they yell at
you, you really do leave the room.
They will eventually learn to change
that behavior, because it's no fun
fighting with someone who won't
fight back.
And how can you yell at someone
who isn't even there?
But remember, the key is
CONSISTENCY.
You have to do it EVERY time
in order for this to work.
You can use this method with any
behavior you want to see your
loved one change.
As long as you set a boundary
with consequences, and you
stick to those consequences.
Think about it...
What is it that you would like
to see your loved one change?
Then practice this method and
see what happens!
Your Friend,
Dave
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through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml