Borderline? I've Got the Horse Right Here
Published: Mon, 12/21/09
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're having a good
day.
I don't know if you're familiar
with this or not, but there was a
play called "Guys and Dolls,"
and the opening number lyrics
went something like this:
"I've got the horse right here
His name is Paul Revere
And there's a guy who says
That the weather's clear
Can do, can do, this guy says
the horse can do
Can do, can do, this guy says
the horse can do..."
---------------------------------------------
CAN DO...
That's the attitude you need to
have if you are dealing with a
loved one with borderline personality
disorder.
Actually, it's an attitude that
your loved one should have as
well.
You have to believe that you CAN
be a good supporter to your loved
one...
And they have to believe that they
CAN recover from borderline
personality disorder.
I'm not saying this is an easy
thing, not at all.
But it is possible to have a
CAN DO attitude.
In fact, I believe it is a necessity
if your loved one is ever going
to get better.
People who accomplish much
have this attitude.
Like I said, it isn't easy.
But it is a simple concept.
CAN DO...
You can do whatever you
set your mind to doing.
This comes down to setting
realistic long and short-term
goals, like I teach in my main
course and resource:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Here's an example:
Say Mary wants to get a degree
in nursing.
That would be her long-term
goal, to be a nurse.
So what are her short-term
goals?
1. Apply to college
2. Get accepted to college
3. Map out courses
4. Start a semester at a time
5. Get practical experience
6. Get her nursing degree
7. Take her state board exam
8. Go to work as a nurse
Do you see what I mean?
Obviously, Mary couldn't go
right out and get a job as a nurse
without the proper credentials.
So she has to make that her long-
term goal, then set short-term
goals to attain on the way.
This is a CAN DO attitude.
It's also understanding that
you're not going to reach your
goal overnight.
It's going to take time.
But if you stay consistent in
reaching your short-term goals,
you WILL reach your long-
term goal.
So let's look at the CAN DO
attitude as it relates to
borderline personality disorder.
There's no college degree you
can get in being a good borderline
supporter, obviously.
But say you want to become a
better supporter to your loved one.
That involves improving yourself.
Making changes.
So your long-term goal would be
to be a better supporter.
Short-term goals might be:
1. Be a better listener.
2. Be more sympathetic.
3. Control anger better.
4. Be more patient.
5. Separate my loved one
from their disorder.
6. Take care of myself
You get the idea.
You can then make your own
detailed list of short-term goals
for yourself.
And you do this for each long-
term goal you have.
The CAN DO attitude is just
what spurs you on to complete
your goals.
It's about having a positive
attitude.
Do you agree or disagree?
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml