Borderline Disorder? Do You Experience This?
Published: Mon, 12/28/09
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well.
I recently had a situation in my
company where it was taken for
granted that something was done;
yet the three people involved all
denied responsibility.
I had someone get to the core of
it and we corrected the problem;
however, one of the people got
very frustrated.
At first she denied making the
mistakes, but I told her that it
didn't matter - that the mistake
needed to be corrected whether
she acknowledges responsibility
for it or not.
At first she was very defensive,
but then she just got very frustrated,
as she had no explanation for how
the mistake could have happened.
But, to her credit, she did assume
responsibility.
Frustration can easily turn into
anger, and anger can show as an
attitude, even if it does not come
out directly.
That's one of the things I teach
about in my main course and
system, because anger (and
frustration) are common with
borderline personality disorder:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Someone with borderline personality
disorder could get frustrated just because
they don't get their own way.
In them, this frustration usually turns
to anger, and you might hear them
complain that they were treated
unfairly, etc.
It's difficult for someone with
borderline personality disorder to
acknowledge when they're wrong.
They may defend themselves to
the hilt, or even turn their anger
onto their supporter.
For example, your loved one may
exhibit acting out symptoms
(usually rage) when they or their
efforts are frustrated.
They want things the way they
want them to be, but this can't
always be the case.
One of the things they should be
working on in therapy is accepting
things the way they are and not
the way they want them to be.
Yet acceptance is hard for someone
with borderline personality disorder.
And, again, they may take out
their frustrations on you.
People with borderline personality
disorder do not take constructive
(or any) criticism well.
They take it personally.
It threatens what self-esteem they
do have, and may go against their
self-image.
They may believe that they are
the most "put together" person
they know, but yet exhibit anger
at the slightest provocation.
For example, say they are working
on a project at work that involves
several co-workers.
First of all, cooperating with
others is difficult for someone
with borderline personality disorder
to do.
If one person does not "pull his
weight" (according to your loved
one's standards), it will be very
frustrating for your loved one.
If your loved one is not in therapy,
many of the issues involved in
dealing with their disorder may
frustrate them, as the examples
I have given.
But supporters can get frustrated,
too.
Maybe someone at your support
group says something that irritates
you.
Maybe your family is not coping
well with your loved one, or even
criticizing them to you, and you
find yourself defending your loved
one to them.
This can be very frustrating.
You may find yourself at
times defending your loved
one to other people, or
explaining their behavior.
(You may even have to do it
for yourself at times.)
Your frustration may come
directly from your loved one
as well.
For example, it is typical for
someone with borderline
personality disorder to start
fights for seemingly no reason
at all.
This can be very frustrating for
their supporter, because what
defense do they have?
Say they are accusing you of
doing something you haven't
done (typical of a person with
borderline personality disorder).
It can be very frustrating for
you, since just denying the event
will not work, and you may be
facing your loved one's anger
with no defense.
Your loved one should be dealing
with their frustration in therapy.
But what about you?
How do you handle your frustration?
What advice do you have for
others in the same situation?
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
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help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml