Willing, or in Denial? Borderline mistake.
Published: Wed, 02/10/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well
today.
There are some differences
of opinion, but most professionals
agree that the treatment of
borderline personality disorder
includes medication for the
symptoms and therapy for the
issues surrounding having the
disorder.
Unfortunately, where the
difference of opinion enters in
is in therapy -
That is, many therapists will not
treat a patient with borderline
personality disorder.
This is because of the patient's
general unwillingness to
participate in their treatment...
As well as their pattern of
threatening suicide and (sometimes)
self-mutilation.
If your loved one has borderline
personality disorder, they cannot
get better without...
WILLINGNESS.
They must be a part of their own
recovery if it is to happen at all.
This is one of the points I make in
my main courses and resource
below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
An unwillingness to cooperate
makes it very difficult to help
your loved one.
Many times, this unwillingness
stems from their denial of the
disorder -
In other words, they may say
that they feel "just fine," and
don't need help.
Therefore, they will resist any
attempts at getting them help.
It's true, borderline personality
disorder does not usually come
with physical symptoms (except
anxiety and stress), so they may
feel perfectly fine; however,
they may meet several of the
criteria for a diagnosis of borderline
personality disorder just the same.
And saying that they "feel fine"
is not going to make it go away
on its own.
Borderline personality disorder is
not something you outgrow.
In fact, it can get worse over time
if not treated.
For example, it can cause havoc
with your interpersonal relationships.
One of the main symptoms of
borderline personality disorder
is being unable to sustain long-
term, healthy relationships.
If you are a supporter to a loved
one with borderline personality
disorder, I'm sure you will be
able to relate to this.
They seem to change a lot - you
can't really count on them sticking
to a certain pattern of behavior.
They also get angry a lot, rage,
or start fights for no reason at all.
Then, if you try to present your
side of things if they are already
in the throes of their rage, it can
make them even angrier and more
abusive toward you.
You cannot win an argument with
a person who has borderline
personality disorder, as they will
always believe they are right and
you (and the rest of the world) are
wrong.
This is because one of their coping
mechanisms is called splitting,
whereby they see everything in
black and white.
It also explains why they may
totally adore you one minute, and
devalue you in the next minute.
They struggle desperately with a
sense of self, or their identity,
which makes it difficult for them
to accept you the way you are.
They will even stoop to name-calling,
belittling, humiliating, criticizing,
and other ways of devaluing you.
The one thing you can do about it
is to remind yourself that this is the
disorder talking, and not your loved
one.
Also, don't take it personally. This
might help you as well.
Living in a constant fear of abandonment
is one of the key characteristics of
someone with borderline personality
disorder.
Now, this doesn't even have to be real
in order for your loved one to react -
it can just be a perceived abandonment.
And it doesn't have to be long-term,
either.
Even if you are just late coming home
from work or the store, these feelings
may kick in for them, so that you may
face anger upon your return.
Even with all that, however, it is
possible to make a go of things with
a person who has borderline personality
disorder , as long as both of you are
willing.
They must be willing to change and to
go into extensive, long-term therapy
for help, and you must be willing to
put up with some lapses in character
while they are getting their help.
Is your loved one getting help for
their disorder?
Or are they still in denial, insisting
that "everything is fine?"
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml