Dealing with Borderline? Learn how to create this
Published: Mon, 02/15/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well
today.
I was in a department
store the other day,
and I saw an elderly
couple walk past me.
They were holding
hands and talking to
each other.
It was obvious by the
way they looked at
each other that they
were still completely
in love.
It got me thinking
about how fast my
loved one goes through
relationships.
I want my loved one
to have a stable
relationship, that has
potential to last
and be as special
as it was for that
elderly couple.
Have you ever wanted
this for your loved one?
There are times
when we can get
frustrated, and think
that this may never
be able to happen.
But it is important
that we keep hoping
and working towards
the goal we would
like to achieve,
and to encourage
our loved one to do
the same.
So what can we do
as supporters
to help our loved
ones have
relationships that
last?
The first, and
possibly most
important, thing
we can do is simply
to have patience.
See, since any
relationship is hard
for them, you can
help their other
relationships by
being willing to
work on the
relationship that
you have with them.
When they learn the
skills to master a
relationship of any
kind, then they will
be able to transfer
the skills onto their
other kinds of
relationships.
So what can we do
to work on our own
relationships with
them?
Like I said before,
the most important
thing you can do
is to be patient.
This is not something
they will master on
the first try, but they
can eventually get it.
The more you are able
to be calm and patient
with them, even when
they are symptomatic
and even irate with you,
the more they will learn
how to interact with
people in a more
appropriate way.
This can be especially
difficult when they
are angry with you
for what appears to be
no reason.
Try to remember that
their anger is based
in a fear they cannot
control.
They are scared to lose
you, to the point
that they cannot handle
when you do things
that brings up that fear.
One thing you can do
to calm the situation
down is to stay calm
and explain to them
that you aren't going
to leave them, even
if you have to take
care of your own
responsibilities.
When you help them
to understand that they
are still loved, and
will be cared for,
no matter how many
errands you have to
run, then they will
begin to learn trust.
Learning trust with
you will help them
to gain an
understanding of how
to maintain a
stable relationship
with other people.
There is hope that
they can have a
long-lasting relationship
with someone,
and this will be
easier for them if
they learn through
a long-lasting
relationship with you.
What are your thoughts
about this?
Your Friend,
Dave
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