Holiday Let Down for Loved One With Borderline
Published: Wed, 01/27/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I wanted to bring up something
today that I think you need to be
prepared for in advance, and that is
holiday let down in your loved one
with borderline personality disorder.
I don't want to ruin your Christmas,
and I do hope you have a really good
one, but the more prepared for this
you are, the better you will be able
to cope with this when it happens
after the holidays are over.
With all the festivities associated with
the holiday season going on right
now, your loved one is probably
acting pretty "high" right now.
And this will build and build up to
Christmas and, if you're lucky, even to
New Year's Day.
However, after the holidays are over,
your loved one (and you) are bound
to face holiday let down.
I just want you to be prepared in
advance.
One of the things I talk about in my
main course and resource is that
sometimes something seems negative,
but it really is a positive.
So don't think this is a negative message.
I just want you to be realistic, and I
want you to be prepared.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
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NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
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After all the excitement of the holidays,
with all the parties and gatherings, the
presents... and after all the Christmas
decorations are taken down and put away...
Your loved one may feel a sense of loss.
Any sense of loss to a person with
borderline personality disorder is a
trigger to stress, which is a trigger to
acting out behavior. That's what I want
you to be prepared for.
Think about all the other times your
loved one has exhibited acting out
behavior after a relatively "normal"
period of time, and don't be caught
by surprise.
Did they yell and rage at you?
Did they pick a fight with you for
no reason that you could think of?
Did they start calling you names?
Did they start loving you one minute
and pushing you away the next minute?
Did they start criticizing you?
Did they start humiliating, belittling,
or degrading you?
Did they start ignoring you?
What other acting out behaviors did
they exhibit toward you before?
Because you can expect these behaviors
to happen again.
Let me ask you this:
What have you tried in the past that
has helped you cope and deal with
your loved one's acting out behavior?
It might work again.
If it has worked for you, please share
it with us, so we can share it with
others, as it might work for them, too.
Your Friend,
Dave
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