Borderline? Why it’s not “Split Personality”
Published: Mon, 03/29/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're doing well today.
Have you ever told someone that you or your loved one has borderline
personality disorder, only to have them turn around and call it split
personality?
Usually it goes something like this:
"I/My loved one has borderline personality disorder."
The other person: "So what, you/they have split personality or something?"
How frustrating can that be!
So how do you explain to them that it is not split personality disorder?
And what is split personality disorder, anyways?
Does it even exist?
Well, to start off with, no, it does not exist, at least not under that name.
The more accurate term is dissociative identity disorder, formerly called
multiple personality disorder.
The first major difference between the two disorders that we come across
is that one is a dissociative disorder, and the other is a personality
disorder.
What on earth does that mean?
Well, dissociative disorders are disorders in which there is a dissociation
from (or interruption in) a person's fundamental consciousness.
So basically, there is something wrong with the person's awareness about
themselves and others.
Dissociative disorders are thought to be caused by trauma in the person's
life.
In fact, the dissociation they experience is thought to be a coping
mechanism to deal with the trauma they have experienced.
It is believed that they dissociate themselves from their traumatic
experience because it is too hard to integrate it into their conscious mind.
Personality disorders, on the other hand, are disorders that have to do with
a person's personality (hence the name).
Personality refers to a set of traits and behavior patterns that make up our
identities and individualities.
Borderline personality disorder, to be specific, is a disorder in which there
is an instability in the person's interpersonal relationships, behaviors,
moods, and self-image.
Even though a person with borderline personality disorder has an instable
view of themselves, it is different from the dissociation of identity that a
person with dissociative identity disorder has.
Another thing to consider is, even for people that do have dissociative
identity disorder, "split personality" does not describe them at all!
Split personality implies that it has something to do with personality, when
in reality a person with dissociative identity disorder does not have a
problem that is based in their personality - instead it is based in their
identity!
So when a person asks if borderline personality disorder is the same as
split personality disorder, not only are they wrong about borderline
personality disorder, but they have an incorrect title to describe anything!
Now the next step would be, how do you address that?
Sometimes you have the opportunity to educate a person, and other times
you just have to deal with the fact that they aren't going to "get it" no
matter what you say.
There are things you can say in both situations.
When you don't think that they will be up to listening to much, either
because they have a good reason to be pressed for time or because they
are simply not that interested, it is better to keep it short and simple.
To give an example, let's start off this conversation again and complete it
this time.
You: "You see, my loved one has borderline personality disorder."
Them: "So what, is that like split personality disorder?"
You: "No, it's more of a disorder that has to do with relationships, moods,
and self-image."
Does that make sense?
Now, of course, it may be tempting to spill out everything you know about
the so-called "split personality disorder," and there are certainly times for
that.
For instance, when you respond as I mentioned above, and then they ask,
"Well then what is split personality disorder?"
Then that would be a great time to inform them that there is no such thing
as split personality, and that the disorder that it is referring to is actually
called dissociative identity disorder.
Another great time to introduce this concept is when you are talking to
someone who loves to learn new things, and has all the time in the world
to do so.
A word of caution when you are talking to these people though, or to
anyone else for that matter: people do not like to be "talked down to."
Basically, what that means to you is, just because you know more
information on this topic then they do, it doesn't mean you should make
it sound like you are a "know-it-all" or that you are better than them.
Most of the time we don't intend to do this, but sometimes it ends up
sounding like it by accident.
One thing you can do to avoid this mix-up is to use understandable words.
No one likes to hear words that don't make sense to them and aren't
explained, especially when they are all bundled up in one sentence.
If you must use a big word to describe something, such as dissociation, do
your best to describe it in regular words.
Dissociation, for example, can be described as a part of a personality that
split off and is functioning independently from the rest of the personality,
with no communication between the two.
Another way to avoid sounding like you know it all is to simply admit
that you don't.
For example, if you don't know that much about dissociative identity
disorder, but you know the name, then you might say something along
these lines:
"Split personality disorder usually refers to dissociative identity disorder,
but I don't honestly know too much about that disorder."
A different approach, which you can use in the same conversation if you
think is necessary, is to ask questions.
In this case, that might look something like this:
"Dissociative identity disorder is where a split happens in the person's
identity. Have you ever felt like you had two different sets of identities?"
(Pause for their response.) "Yeah, I've had that same sort of experience.
I can only imagine that people with dissociative identity disorder feel that
same sort of thing on a much higher level."
But one of the main things I would stress, is not to focus on teaching them
what dissociative identity disorder is, but instead to teach them what
borderline personality disorder is.
I have three main reasons for this.
1) It is what you are most familiar with.
2) It is what you were trying to talk about to begin with.
3) It is what they need to know about at the moment.
It is important to educate as many people as we can about as much as we
can, just as it is important to learn about as much as we can from any
sources that are available.
But sometimes, you have to pick your battles.
If a person is only willing to learn one thing when they are talking to you,
would you rather teach them about some obscure disorder that you've
probably never even heard of someone with it?
Or would you rather teach them about the disorder that you have
experienced, either in your life or your loved one's life?
Yes, borderline personality disorder is different from dissociative identity
disorder, and certainly different from "split personality disorder."
Yes, there is stigma associated with the labeling of all of these disorders.
Yes, you can be a part of fighting off that stigma.
And yes, it can start just by you saying what borderline personality
disorder really is.
What are your thoughts on this?
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <===
Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these
daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml