Borderline Supporter – Rise Above the Challenge
Published: Thu, 03/04/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope you're having a good
day.
Did you know that eagles fly
above the wind so that the wind
is beneath their wings?
The wind would challenge their
flight otherwise.
You know how gracefully they
soar - it's because they don't
have to deal with the wind.
It makes things easier.
Things are always easier, though,
when you don't have to fight a
challenge, aren't they?
You've heard of "rising above
the challenge?"
Well, that's what you need to
do in relation to borderline
personality disorder as well.
The disorder is definitely a
challenge.
So is supporting someone who
has it.
I discuss some of these challenges
in my main course and resource:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But you can rise above any
challenge, just like the eagle
rising above the wind to soar
gracefully.
You just need to know how.
The first thing you have to do
in order to be able to rise above
any challenge is that you need
to define what that challenge is.
I know it sounds simple, but
many people don't do this,
and then they find themselves
in the middle of the challenge
with no direction to go.
I want your direction to be
UP.
I want you to be able to RISE
ABOVE your challenge.
So, like I said, first you have
to define it.
Ok, let's say you define it as
feeling inferior when your
loved one calls you names.
That's a challenge. (Actually,
that's two - dealing with your
loved one when they're like that
and dealing with the name
calling itself.)
Ok, so you've defined the
challenge you want to rise
above.
Then you brainstorm ways to
rise above the challenge.
It's best to do this in writing
so that you can see it.
So you might write down,
"Stay calm."
Staying calm during a challenge
is really crucial, whatever that
challenge is.
Say your boss called you into
his office to talk to you, and you
are afraid it's something bad.
You can rise above that
challenge by remaining calm.
Next, you might write down,
"Be positive."
That's important in any challenge,
but especially if your loved one
is calling you names.
Staying positive means that you
can rise above the name calling,
because you don't internalize it.
You know you're not any of
those names, and that's what you
tell yourself.
You keep a positive outlook,
thinking about the good things
about yourself, and the name calling
won't bother you as much - you
will have risen above it.
Having a positive outlook will
also help you deal with the challenge
of a loved one with borderline
personality disorder who is acting
out as well.
Remember what they're like when
they're not in an episode of acting
out behavior, and you can stay
positive.
Keep a mental picture of what
they're like apart from the disorder.
That will help you when you see
the "dark" side to them and their
behavior.
So what else might you write
down as a way to rise above the
challenge?
Possibly, "Don't fight back."
That's a good one, because you
can't win a fight with someone
who has borderline personality
disorder , because they'll never
admit that they're wrong.
And if you fight with them, you
are just "feeding their fire."
You don't want to do that.
You want the fight to be over as
soon as possible.
So now you've got several things
on your list that will help you rise
above the challenge.
You can apply this to anything in
your life, and it will work.
Are you willing to try it?
Can you rise above the challenge?
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml