The Secret From Marathons For Borderline Personality Disorder
Published: Wed, 05/12/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
Hope you are doing well.
Have you ever been to a marathon?
I just went the other day.
The energy was amazing!
But it was a very different kind of energy
than other running sports have.
You see, running a marathon is very
different than sprinting a few yards or
even running a mile.
It takes energy over a long period of time,
instead of energy all bunched up into a
few moments.
You know what else it takes?
Focus.
And not just any focus, but focus on one
specific thing.
I know what you're thinking.
That one thing has to be the finish line,
right?
Well, I'm sure in some ways that's true
also.
But it wasn't what I had in mind.
What I was thinking was: it takes focus
on running a marathon.
That seems pretty repetitive, doesn't it?
Maybe even obvious?
But here's what it means:
People who run marathons are usually no
good at sprinting.
They have very different muscles than a
sprinter would have, built for very different
activities.
People who run marathons are usually no
good at body building.
That's not their goal.
You can't really focus on working on other
things if what you want is to be a
marathon runner.
You sort of have to pick your battles.
If you want to win the battle of running
long distances, than you may have to loose
the battle of having the most muscle, or
of being the fastest sprinter.
This got me thinking.
People with borderline personality
disorder often try to aim for two huge
goals at once.
(Sometimes even more!)
Take for example, one of their goals is
most likely to be stable in their recovery
process.
Well, it should be anyways.
Another goal may be to work long hours
so that they can get more money.
Well, there's nothing wrong with that goal,
ideally.
But the problem is, it might just conflict
with their first goal.
If they are spending such long hours at
work that they come home exhausted, then
who's to say that they are going to pay
attention to their own needs as much as
they should?
If they are tired enough, they might even
forget to take their medications right before
they go to bed.
That wouldn't be good at all.
If they are working long hours, then how
are they going to fit in the sleep, food,
exercise, socialization, alone time, and fun
things that they need to thrive on?
Now this ultimately depends on the person,
of course.
Some people, even having borderline
personality disorder, can work long
hours and be fine.
Maybe their conflicting goals might be
something closer to finishing school in a
hurry.
Maybe it's something along the lines of
becoming the best at a sport.
Or maybe it's beating that video game, and
obsessing over it enough that they end up
not sleeping until it is finished.
Can you see how, depending on the person,
each of these goals might conflict with
their recovery goal?
That's why it's important that they discuss
their goals with their recovery team before
they pursue them.
It allows for necessary feedback into
whether or not the goal is a practical and
achievable one.
Have you ever heard the phrase "you can't
have your cake and eat it, too"?
That phrase always confused me.
I used to think, well, you have to have
your cake to be able to eat it, don't you?
But the problem is, once you eat your cake,
you no longer have it.
You have to have stability to be able to
pursue these other goals, but once you
pursue these other goals, will you still
have your stability?
Maybe that's a question you should be
asking yourself before you take on a new
goal.
And supporters, it's a question you can
help your loved one to ask themselves
when you hear about their plans for a new
goal.
If the answer is no, that they would not
still have their stability, then encourage
them to break the goal down into a smaller,
more manageable one.
After all, if you are going to run a marathon,
you have to focus on the finish line.
And if you are going to reach the finish
line, you need to focus on the marathon.
If you are going to gain stability, then you
have to focus on stability, instead of
everything else.
What do you think of that?
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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