Borderline Supporter: Being a Positive Role Model
Published: Mon, 05/31/10
Hi ,
How's it going for you today?
I hope your day is going well.
Remember when we were little?
Most of us had positive role models.
Most of us used our parents as
positive role models.
Or other adults.
Like teachers and such.
But we also had others...
Like movie characters...
Superheroes...
Older kids...
Even the president!
Having a positive role model was
important when we were kids.
It helped to develop good character
in us.
It helped to develop us into good
people.
It helped us to become who we are.
Well, it doesn't stop just because
you're not a kid anymore.
Even in my main course and resource
I talk about how important it is to
develop good characteristics.
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
Part of the reason your loved one has
borderline personality disorder may be
because they didn't have a positive
role model as a child.
Because one of the reasons they suspect
that borderline personality disorder
develops in the first place could be
because of childhood neglect or
abuse.
So that's one of the things they try to
correct as an adult in someone who has
the disorder now.
As a supporter of a loved one with
borderline personality disorder, you
can be a positive role model.
For example...
If you take medication, you can model
that positive behavior to your loved one
by taking your own medication as
prescribed and regularly.
If you see a doctor, psychiatrist, and/or
therapist on a regular basis, you can
model that positive behavior for your
loved one as well.
You can also model good characteristics
to your loved one.
Like patience.
If you want your loved one to be more
patient, show them more patience.
Be more patient with them.
Show them how it's done.
Same thing with understanding.
If you want them to be more understanding
with you, be more understanding with
them.
Model it for them.
One of the biggest problems in a borderline
relationship is fighting.
Here is one of the greatest ways you can
be a positive role model.
If your loved one starts yelling at you,
do not yell back at them.
Keep calm, and maintain your voice at
an even keel.
This will accomplish several things.
It will force them to listen to you.
It will probably make them calm down,
just by the fact that you are not fighting
back.
Who wants to fight with someone who
is not fighting back?
But you are presenting a good role
model for them just by doing this.
If you want them to be less frustrated, or
at least to be less destructive in their
frustration, then be a good role model
for them in this way.
When you get frustrated (as you will),
try not to act in destructive ways - try to
channel your frustration in positive ways,
especially when they are watching you.
Do deep breathing exercises...
Exercise...
Do something constructive.
And for yourself -
Find positive role models for yourself.
Whatever it is you want to develop in
yourself, find a good role model for it.
If you find that you get stressed out
easily, find someone who seems to
handle stress easier than you do, and
ask them how they do it.
Then copy what they do.
Model their behavior.
Let them be YOUR role model!
Then you'll find it easier to be your
loved one's role model.
What are some ways that you would
like to be your loved one's role model?
What are some ways that you have
found someone else to be your role
model?
Your Friend,
Dave
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