Borderline? What to do when Life Slams a Door in Your Face
Published: Mon, 06/21/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
Hope you are doing well.
I just had to help a friend through a tough
time.
You see, their closest friend had just
died.
They had to go to their funeral and speak,
and that was very hard on them.
They told me something interesting.
They said it was like life had slammed a
door in their face, and there was no hope
in it opening up again.
Well, that's probably true.
Chances are, they will not see their friend
again, at least not in this lifetime.
But they can "see" their friend in the
little things in life.
That is to say, they can take the lessons
and love their friend taught them, and
carry it through life with them.
After all, a closed door usually means that
a window has opened.
You might be asking, what is that supposed
to mean?
Well, in her case, it means that her loss is
not the end of her life, and she will have
other opportunities to befriend someone
else.
And when she does, she can take with her
to that friendship all the things she learned
about friendship from this other friend.
In other cases, it can mean something
entirely different.
It usually means that where one
opportunity is lost, another one is gained.
For example, if a person loses their job,
there might be another employment
opportunity that is waiting for them to
apply at, and this one might be better than
the first.
Or, if a person decides that they no longer
want to pursue a career they chose, then
there might be another career that they
would be very good at.
It is just waiting for the first door to close
so that they can see the window that
had been open!
With borderline personality disorder, this
can come in the form of some very
frustrating events.
Say your psychiatrist, therapist, or doctor
stops being able to see you.
Maybe they retired, or maybe they moved.
This may feel like a devastating blow.
But it's possible that there is another
professional out there that is better suited
to meet your needs.
You have to have your eyes open to find
them though, and that often does not
happen until your current situation ends.
Another way a door can close on someone
who has borderline personality disorder is
when a particular set of medications stops
working.
This can seem impossible to deal with,
but it's not.
It does mean that you should see your
psychiatrist as soon as possible, but it's
not the end of the world.
Your psychiatrist can change your dose
or your medication so that you no longer
have the problem.
Sometimes it takes time to find that
open window.
It may take time for you to find a new
psychiatrist, or a new medication that
works.
But in the end it is usually worth it.
Now, all of this isn't to say that it's easy
dealing with the closed door.
I know it's hard.
Just look at what my friend had to go
through.
But, what it does mean, is that you can
move on with a lesson learned from it,
and find a new opportunity to practice
your lesson in.
There are very few things in life that are
truly unbearable (although a lot of things
feel like it at times.)
Have you ever had a situation like this?
One where a door was closed, and it was
hard to figure out what to do from there?
Did you find the open window?
Your Friend,
Dave
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