Borderline – When You Get Frustrated, Do This
Published: Tue, 01/04/11
Hi ,
How are you doing?
I hope you're doing well.
You know, I know how it feels to be
frustrated.
I used to get frustrated all the time, just
watching my mom get worse and worse instead
of better, and thinking that I couldn't do anything
about it.
I think that I was the most frustrated when I knew
how bad she really was, but she thought she was fine
(even though she wasn't).
Then I really didn't know what to do, because how
do you get someone to seek help when they think
they're ok?
In other words, how do you help someone who
doesn't want to be helped?
That's what I want to talk about today.
What to do when you get frustrated.
You need to:
THINK FORWARD.
You need to think about the future.
And you need to think about it in an optimistic
way.
You need to think about it in a positive way.
Like with my mom.
She felt fine.
She didn't think there was anything wrong
with her.
But I knew there was, and that's why I was
so frustrated!
I was the one experiencing the wrath of "the
storm."
I was the one getting yelled at all the time, not
her.
I know you know what that's like.
I talk about that anger and its expression (yelling
and screaming, rage, etc.) in my main course
and resource below:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But this is how I finally got to stop being so
frustrated, even before my mom got the help
she needed:
I started to:
THINK FORWARD.
I started to picture her in my mind as being
better.
As being the mom I knew she could be.
As being the mom I wanted her to be.
I mean, right or wrong, maybe I was wrong,
maybe it's wrong to want someone to be who
they aren't at the time...
But it worked for me!
I stopped being so frustrated.
See the answer is...
That I could stop being so frustrated because
once I started to picture her being well...
I could start accepting her as being sick (but just
for now).
Is that crazy? (you know what I mean)
But I'm telling you, it works!
Here you are living with a loved one with borderline
personality disorder.
And I know you're not happy.
In fact, life is real tough sometimes.
You would love it if they weren't so unpredictable.
You never know what mood they're going to be in.
How sometimes they act like they love you...
And the next minute you're their worst enemy.
And you never know what you did (or didn't do)!
I know how you feel.
I really do.
I have heard so many people tell me the same thing.
About the impulsive behavior.
And how you never know what consequences
there are going to be.
So you worry about your loved one...
And their risk-taking behaviors...
And their impulsivity...
Because you never know which "person" you are
going to be living with from day to day or what they
are going to do.
I know. It's frustrating.
That's why the best thing for you to do is to...
THINK FORWARD.
Picture your loved one healthy, and not the
way they are now.
Picture the way they will be when they are in
treatment.
Picture them the way they will be someday.
The loved one you want them to be.
The loved one you know they can be.
The loved one they WILL be.
What do you think of the idea of
THINKING FORWARD?
Do you think it could work for you?
Do you think it could help you to change
your perspective on how you look at your
loved one?
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml