Important to Be Understanding with Borderline
Published: Tue, 10/12/10
Hi ,
How are you doing today?
I hope you're doing well.
Do you remember back in school...
There were some things that were
easy to learn...
And you understood them very
easily.
But there were other things that
were harder to learn...
And you didn't understand them
as easily?
It's the same thing as you get older.
As you learn new things, some things
are easier to learn than others.
Some things are easier to understand
and some things are harder to
understand.
Especially when it comes to borderline
personality disorder
In my main course and resource below,
I tell you to try to be as understanding
of your loved one as you can be:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
But sometimes it isn't easy.
You may even try to be understanding
and have it backfire on you.
For example, you may tell your
loved one, "I understand how you
feel."
And your loved one may get angry
with you and say something like,
"How can you say that? There's no
way you can understand how I feel,
because you don't have borderline
personality disorder !"
And that may be frustrating for you,
because you're trying your best to be
understanding.
But the fact is that you're not always
going to be able to understand everything
when it comes to your loved one, because
you don't have borderline personality
disorder.
That doesn't mean that you shouldn't
try to be understanding, though.
If your loved one has borderline personality
disorder , things are sometimes going to
be very difficult for them.
And they will look to you to be under-
standing of them.
Whether that is easy or hard for you,
it is something that they will expect
from you.
Like I said, some things will be easy
for you to understand, but other things
will be harder.
For example, it may be easy for you to
understand that it's frustrating for them
to have to take medication every day.
But it may be harder to understand how
they cannot control their mood swings.
Especially if they are the type of person
who likes to be in control.
Because the mood swings associated with
borderline personality disorder are not
always easy to control, so this can be
frustrating for your loved one, and they
will need understanding from you with
this.
Another thing they will need understanding
from you about is their anger.
That's another thing they may not always
be able to control.
They may want to be in control of it, but
may find that they'll be feeling fine one
minute, but the next minute they are
in a rage, fighting with you for no apparent
reason at all, and it can be frustrating for
them (as well as for you).
So they need you to be understanding of
this as well.
But the thing they need you to be the
most understanding of is when they go
into an acting out episode.
Especially since this is something that
is usually beyond their control.
They may have done everything they
know to do to keep from going into an
acting out episode, yet find themselves
in one anyway, and this can be totally
frustrating for them.
So they will need you to be very
understanding of this.
Like with their anger and rage,
one minute they could be feeling
fine, and the next minute, their
acting out behavior is upon them,
making them act out of control.
They may not even understand
this, so they need even more
understanding from you on it.
Do you think you can do this?
It takes more patience and grace to
be understanding when your loved
one goes into an acting out episode
than it does for most of the other things
associated with borderline personality
disorder.
It can be very difficult sometimes.
Still, you are called to do it.
Can you be more understanding?
Have you been able to handle this?
How have you done it?
Your Friend,
Dave
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