Borderline Personality Disorder and Self-Control
Published: Tue, 10/19/10
Hi ,
How's it going?
I hope it's going well.
Today I want to look at the
word CONTROL.
Just in the way we use it,
it is a strong word, but let's
look at the definition of it.
Webster's dictionary defines
control as, "power or authority
to guide or to manage."
It also defines it as "direction,
regulation, and coordination...
restraint and reserve."
These state important qualities
of the word CONTROL.
But today I want to look at the
quality of SELF-CONTROL
as it relates to borderline
personality disorder.
In my main course and resource,
I talk about all the qualities needed
in order to manage borderline personality
disorder successfully:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/
And self-control is one of them.
Whether you are the one with the
disorder, or whether you are the
supporter, self-control is an
important quality to possess.
Just look at the definition per
Webster's dictionary.
"Power or authority to guide or
to manage."
We all need that power and
authority to guide and to manage
ourselves.
When it comes to borderline personality
disorder, you need that power and
authority to guide and to manage the
disorder as well.
If you are a supporter, you need
that power and authority to guide
and to manage your part as a
supporter to a loved one with the
disorder.
For example, you need the power
and authority to guide and to manage
your reaction to your loved one's
borderline behavior.
You also need the power and
authority to guide and to manage
the home environment, as you need
to make it as stress-free as possible
for your loved one.
Speaking to the person who has
borderline personality disorder for
a second here...
You absolutely need self-control
when it comes to dealing with your
disorder.
Medication and therapy can only go
so far in the management of your
borderline.
It is up to you to manage what you
can, and self-control has something
to do with that.
You need to have control over your
behavior, for one thing.
And you need to have control over
your choices and decisions, for
another thing.
Because these are the two areas
where you get into trouble when you
go into an acting out episode.
The more self-control you have, the
less trouble the episode itself will
get you into.
For example, in an episode of
acting out behavior, you will have
a tendency to exhibit anger and
rage at your loved one.
You may want to act on these
feelings because of your borderline
personality disorder.
You may also experience feelings
of impending rejection, or that
your loved one is going to abandon
you, which is part of your disorder.
You may be tempted to act on this,
and push them away first, or take
out these feelings in anger, or even
accusing them of abandoning you.
But the greater your sense of self-
control, the greater the chance that
you won't act on these feelings, and
will make better choices and decisions,
despite the borderline personality
disorder.
Now, to the supporter...
You need to exercise self-control
as well.
For example, when your loved one
is raging at you, which they may
sometimes do in an episode of
acting out behavior...
Your natural instinct will be to
fight back, but if you exercise
self-control, you won't, and it
will end the fight that much easier
and may even de-escalate your
loved one's borderline behavior.
Can you see how necessary self-
control is for both the survivor
and the supporter in the management
of borderline personality disorder?
What are some ways that you
exercise self-control yourself?
What are some things that have
worked for you?
Your Friend,
Dave
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Get More Help On Borderline Personality Disorder Don't forget to take a look
through the different programs I've put together... each one is designed to
help you with a different area of borderline personality disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/offers.shtml